I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
