Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
