You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
