While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
