I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."