You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.