he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just high enough for therapy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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