ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
