As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
