If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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