all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
