Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
