i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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