your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
