She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
