I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
