the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
