is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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