too bad you live with your parents still
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
