No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
