i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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