i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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