Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
