You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
