the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
