i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
