Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
