Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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