..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
