What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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