I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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