he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
