i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
