I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
