Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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