Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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