how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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