Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
