Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
