3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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