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I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Randomize
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