Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?