NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER