Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
