you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.