I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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