are you so shy because you have an std?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
that is very illegal...i love you.
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