he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
