1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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