I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize