After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
