It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
