I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
