Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
