And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
