Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
