Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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