I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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