so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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