...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
