Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
