the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
