doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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