@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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