he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
