i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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