do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize