You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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